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OT : THE funniest thing I've ever seen (involves rice)

497 Views 23 Replies 20 Participants Last post by  sprung_monkey
I'll try and keep this short. My high school is completely infested with swarms of ricers. For every normal car that I see idling outside, there's at least 4 monstrosities with falling apart ground effects and fake hood scoops. Well on with the funny stuff. I was outside 5th period yesterday on the front steps covering my ears from the deafening sound of bumblebees as some retarded racing "crews" reved at each other. Not even about to race, just parked and double parked along the street making feeble honduh noises. All of a sudden a beautiful bright yellow Viper:cool: comes tearing down the street, braking at the corner. Both windows are down and the passenger looks at one of the rice burners and openly laughs and points. Of course the owner was pissed. "Yo why you laughin at my sh*t for? " "Because it's a piece of crap, man!" "Yo f**k you ni**a, you wanna run? My boy got dem turbos yo!" The viper guy says "Alright lets see what ya got" and backs up and parks. The ricer pulls out his silver cellphone with all the necessary blinking lights and noises and dials up his friend. "Yo wut up man. Yeah come around the front son yo we got a challenge." Apparently these morons didn't know jack about vipers. As he waits for his friend to arrive, the ricer starts insulting the viper driver. "Yo I heard those was mad slow. My boy beat one upstate on da highway. You gonna get wrecked!" I hear a loud angry bee rattling noise and warping, cheap subs pounding from down the street. "Yo here he comes now." I look to my right and what do I see? A del sol painted sky blue with it's headlights on at 1:00 in the afternoon. Huge combat wing, dropped so ridiculously and with black rims. And goddamned if I heard a BOV anywhere:rolleyes:. It's also going like 50 in a school zone. As it approaches the school it doesn't slow down. The ricer is now waving at his friend. "Yo over here yo!" I could hear the driver let off the gas and the car was coasting still going very fast. And now there's a car that pulled out on that side of the street blocking his path. And a van parked in the opposite lane. I wonder why he isn't slowing down, there is about 30 feet left to the car in the road. Well he keeps coming fast, slowing slightly because he isn't using the gas but obviously not using any brakes:confused:. "Is this guy THAT stupid?" I thought? I got the answer to that in about 1.5 seconds. Still going about 30, the guy flys past the school, and I suddenly realise there's going to be an accident. There's no way he can stop in time and there's NO WHERE to swerve, both lanes are blocked! As he whizzes past his car begins to turn right and it's headed RIGHT FOR the ricer who called him up on the cellie:D. The ricer starts to run like mad, and a second later, the del sol with it's system still blasting completely SMASHES into the original ricer's vehicle, driver's side:p. Huge crunching noise and people scatter as the del sol crumples, as does the other car. What's left of the del sol scrapes to a stop a few feet down, close to the viper, making sparks. There are metal and glass pieces all over the street. Both vehicles are completely wrecked. the del sol now has no passenger side and the civic has been knocked a good 30 degrees around and completely ruined the driver's side, from the doors to the hood. The viper dudes are stunned. Jaws open:eek:. A few seconds later they peel away and dissapear. The ricer is now running over to the del sol's carcass. Miraculously, the door opens and a very very scared ricer stumbles out, completely disoriented, shaking. Cops were on the scene in minutes, and the del sol's owner mumbled something about "no brakes".. hahaha. Today in school there was an announcement that the accident had been caused by someone cutting a brake fluid line and if we had any knowledge of who was responsible to contact the principal immediately. Hah. If I ever find out who did that I'll be giving them a medal. And yes this really happened, I haven't exaggerated at all. Now tell me that wasn't funny. I am still laughing at this moment, I cannot believe I witnessed what I did.
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Now THAT'S funny, except the cutting a brake line thing. That's just stupid, no matter WHO you are doing it to. The guy could have hit a little kid or something.
Del Sol's aren't fast enough to need brakes.
Well of course...

try telling that to the two ricers, I think he could've used just a touch of braking there :p
I admit

That could've gone way sour, it was a school zone after all and many many onlookers. But just the priceless moment as his "boy" sped down the street straight into his car after challenging the viper.. kinda makes you believe in "the ends justify the means."
Well, as long as the shoe car (Viper) is ok, then I guess all's well that ends well. ;)
Good thing no one was injured . . .
Yea, woulda sucked badly if he had hit the viper. If I was doing like 50 and I knew my brakes were out and their was no way for me to stop. I would just throw it in reverse and gas it.

wouldn't the E-brake work still? isnt that run on a cable...and not the brake lines?

If so...he is an idiot
If an idiot

either way, nice story and good use of ebonics. now all I have to do is wait for the english version
Darktrail said:
Yea, woulda sucked badly if he had hit the viper. If I was doing like 50 and I knew my brakes were out and their was no way for me to stop. I would just throw it in reverse and gas it.

Umm.. that wouldn't really work :p
nice.. stupid lowyng eylan *** ricer punks (no offense to you spliffo)
one of my fraternity bros is from port jeff. he tells me he wants a honduh.. so he can "pimp it out" i slapped him and told him to shut up or i was going to haze him again.
and they punk me for having gauges and shit.. lol. ****
Darktrail said:
Yea, woulda sucked badly if he had hit the viper. If I was doing like 50 and I knew my brakes were out and their was no way for me to stop. I would just throw it in reverse and gas it.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most stupid, what would this post of Jeff's rate?
No one has answered if the emergency brake would have worked or not? Also cutting someones cables is incredibly dangerous and dumb, if it was me I would swured and hit the curb, I would fucked the rims but at least the car woulda been ok. As for cutting the lines thats incredibly dumb....
e-brake or first gear. i did a 2-1 today at 20 and it took me down to 5 before i could blink.
e-brake is cable.
They teach that in driver's ed in case you DO lose your regular brakes.

You guys are all formulating ways to stop the car but you're all assuming that the driver has at least half a brain. This was a typical rice boy. He probably didn't even consider the e-brake or downshifting, besides it was probably an auto, none of the ricers around here drive stick they don't know how :p
also if it was auto u would have to fish around for the ebrake. its not like on a manual where u use it every time u drive. but the kid should have run into a curb, dumbass. and who the fuck wants to get picked up for manslaughter for cutting brake lines. dumbass #2
If it was an auto he could have dropped it to Neutral I drop mine all the time when needing to stop really fast. As for the ebrake I like how ours is right there in case you need it. Some cars are down on the floor board I don't like that. I also would have taken the curb.
Good job describing that whole scene. Really, I was getting into the moment there. Perfect ending would have been if by chance the idiot who snipped the guy's brake line had ended up there in the parking lot, and running all wildeyed trying to get away, got his ass run right the flock over. Yeah, tha'd be it! :D
whitetiger7654 said:
If it was an auto he could have dropped it to Neutral I drop mine all the time when needing to stop really fast
How would putting a car with NO brakes into Neutral Help to stop it?? You are still gonna coast till something stopes you. In an Auto, your best bet is to DOWNSHIFT into a lower gear Manualy. Then hit the E-Brake. Neutral will only stop you if you have like 500 Feet.
Anyway...What A moron, should have stoped the car. It doesnt take that much to stop a car only doing 30mph w/ the E-Brake.
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